Winter 2004

Domestic Violence
By Judith Plano

Note:

The articles in this paper assume that the victim is a woman. Research has shown that 95% of abusers are male. In using the male-model of abuse, there is no intention to invalidate those 5% of males who suffer abuse at the hands of their domestic partners. Anything that is written here applies to a male victim of abuse as well as a female victim.

G had been D's wife for 20 years. She thought it was a good marriage and really loved him. Sometimes he was very loving and charming and those were the times that made it all worthwhile. Other times he would get very angry with her. Once he threw his plate of food against the wall because she did not have dinner on the table in time. Another time he tore the phone out of the wall when she was talking with her sister. One day she came home from work to find the cat dead on the doorstep. D had gotten angry when the cat threw up on the rug.

But, really, it was a good marriage and G knew that it could be a better marriage if only she could learn to be a better wife. D was always telling her that if she could only follow the rules, he would not have to get angry with her. She knew it was her fault. D had had to stop the phone service because she was always talking with her mother and sister. She needed to learn how to be a good Indian wife. Didn't D always tell her that in an Indian family the man was the master of the house. He didn't want his woman acting like a white woman.

H had been living with J for three years. Their child, a girl, was 2 and H was expecting another child, again a girl. She had been really sick during this pregnancy and the doctor had told her that she needed to rest. However, she found this difficult to do. J refused to help around the house. He told her she was no good, that all she could produce was girls and that girls were good for nothing but sex. He forced her to have sex with him even though the doctor said that she could lose the baby. Once, early in the pregnancy, when she was feeling pretty good, he hit her in the stomach really hard when she came back from a trip to town. "Don't you never go where I don't know where you are, slut,"  he had said to her.

H was scared for her unborn baby's safety but did not know what to do. She did not have a job. She couldn't pay for another place to live. And J told her that if she ever tried to leave him he would kill her and the children. She was afraid that if she went to stay with her mother he would kill the whole family. She knew he would do it because he had a hunting rifle that he would wave at her when he got really mad.

ARE YOU BEING ABUSED?

  • Are you afraid of upsetting your partner?
  • Are you able to come and go as you please from your own home?
  • Does your partner put you down or call you names?
  • Does your partner threaten or intimidate you, physically or verbally?
  • Does your partner force you to have sex?
  • Does your partner call you dirty during your moon time?
  • Does your partner get jealous or refuse to let you spend time with family or friends?
  • Do you have to account for your time?
  • Has your partner been violent with pets or your children?
  • Does your partner act like two different people - one nice and charming and the other scary and violent?
  • Does your partner say you are not Indian enough?
  • Does your partner blame you for his violence?
    Does your partner make prayers against you?
  • Does your partner use spiritual ways as a threat?
  • Does your partner control the finances and refuse you access to the family income?
  • Does your partner insult your Indian heritage?

If any of this sounds too familiar, Pine Tree Legal Assistance provides free legal assistance with protection from abuse proceedings to eligible Native Americans who are victims of domestic violence. Call the nearest Pine Tree office for help:

Native American Unit:
Portland:
Presque Isle:
Bangor:
Augusta:
Machias:
Lewiston:

1-800-879-7463
774-8211
764-4349
942-8241
622-4731
255-8656
784-1558

You can also call one of the domestic violence hotlines listed below. Talk with the advocate. Tell her what you have experienced. She will be able to help you by providing:

  • crisis intervention
  • domestic violence information
  • confidential, emotional support
  • safety planning
  • advocacy
  • resource information and referral
  • help in getting protection from abuse/harassment orders
  • accompaniment to Tribal or non-Tribal Court proceedings
  • help in securing emergency shelter
  • material and labor to replace door locks
  • emergency cell phone
  • transportation to access other services needed as result of domestic violence

Domestic Violence Hotlines

Native American Services:

Peaceful Relations
(Pleasant Point):
Hotline:
Or call the Tribal Police:
e-mail: nancy@wabanaki.com

853-2600, ext 250 (office number)
(toll-free) 853-2613
853-2551
Indian Township Health Center (Indian Township):

796-2321
(toll-free) 1-877-796-2020

Houlton Band of Maliseets:
During Office Hours (M-F 8-4):
After hours:


532-6401
694-1353

Aroostook Band of Micmacs:
 (Ask for Sarah Dewitt)

 
764-1972
Penobscot Indian Nation:
 (Ask for Clarice Chavaree)

 
817-7491

         Other Domestic Violence Services:

Penobscot County:
  Spruce Run

947-0496
 1-800-863-9909
Washington County:
  The Next Step


1-800-315-5579
667-4606
Aroostook County:
  Battered Women's Project


1-800-439-2323