Winter 2004

Between A Rock And A Hard Place
By Judith Plano

So, you understand about domestic violence. When your partner grabbed you by the hair and dragged you across the floor you called the police. But now the police have called DHS. If you don't leave the home with your children, DHS is going to remove the children. Where can you go? You don't have a job, or you only work part-time while the children are in school. How can you pay for an apartment? The list for Tribal Housing is three years long. You do not want to move in with a family member because your partner has threatened to hurt anyone who helps you.

These are hard questions and harder decisions. Victims of domestic violence face them every day in every city and town and reservation in the United States. Sadly, there are no ready answers. Research has shown that domestic violence is a major cause of homelessness throughout the United States. Some women become homeless when their children are put into foster care as a result of the domestic violence they have witnessed. This leaves the woman ineligible for TANF or child support and can also force her out of her present rental, Section 8, or subsidized housing because, as a single person, she no longer qualifies for the unit.

Some women become homeless because their batterer fails to pay child support. Even though the mother and children remain in the family home, without child support or a well paying full-time job, there is no money for rent or house payments. In order to protect herself and her children a woman must ask the court for a full protection order that keeps the batterer away from her home and workplace; stops him from all contact with her, including contact through other people; gives her the family residence; and orders the batterer to pay adequate child support, ideally, through payroll deductions.

Many women fail to appear in court for the hearing to obtain a permanent protection from abuse order. Lack of money or housing forces them to return to the abuser before they ever get to court. Research has shown that as many as 60% of women and children seeking shelter in larger cities are turned away for lack of space. Luckily, many women living on reservations can turn to family members for temporary housing when a partner becomes abusive. However, sometimes that is not possible due to illness or fear of revenge by the batterer.

In addition, children's lives are often upset by the frequent moves that can be caused by domestic violence. They can become distracted and inattentive in school and they act out at home. Many women return to their batterer in the mistaken belief that the children will be better off living with both parents. As we will discuss in the next issue, studies have shown that children living in a home where domestic abuse occurs, suffer more health and mental health problems than children whose parents are divorced or separated.

Some human service departments consider a mother unfit if her children have witnessed domestic violence. Advocates for battered women argue that taking children from their mother on the basis that she has been abused is punitive and can have harmful and long-term effects on the children and the entire family. The substantiation of abuse and neglect, solely on the basis of the abuse she has received, can remain on a battered woman's record forever.

Maine State DHS has a list of persons substantiated for abuse and neglect and failure to protect. ("Substantiation" is a term that DHS uses to mean that they have "evidence" that a person has abused and/or neglected a child and the person has also failed to protect the child from harm. The "evidence" is not the kind that would stand up in court. It is often only what someone has told the DHS worker. If there is domestic violence in the home, DHS will automatically "substantiate" for failure to protect.) Unless you were substantiated after November 1, 2003, you cannot appeal the substantiation, unless the substantiation interferes with finding or keeping a job. And because, prior to November 1, 2003, the state did not have to notify you of the substantiation, you very well might be on the list and not even know it! The fact that you are on a list of "substantiated" child abusers only surfaces when you try to get a job as a CNA, day-care worker, teacher or any other occupation where the hiring parties must check the list prior to hiring.

This is the no-win situation many women face when they are in abusive relationships. If they stay in the relationship, they risk having their children removed from the home by DHS. If they remain in the home and the batterer leaves, they face the prospect of losing their housing because they cannot make the payments. If they leave the home, they might not be able to find or to afford alternate housing. It seems as if there is no solution. Services to victims are improving. Judges and police officers help victims and punish batterers. And still women face the loss of their children or their homes or both when they try to leave abusive situations. It is clear that the next hurdle to be cleared by those working in the field of domestic violence and those living through the horror of domestic violence is the hurdle of prevention. To protect our families and our children we need to teach the coming generations of boys that violence against women is always wrong.